Shout-out to the Wants

You started learning about "needs" and "wants" in kindergarten. Like the worksheet pictured, you get a list of things you "need" and a list of things you "want," and it's usually pretty easy to tell which goes in which category. 

 [Pause right here: This is not a blog to those who do not have their needs met. I look at the word "blanket" in this picture and think about people all over the world who do not have a bed. I see "shelter" and think about the homeless, the abandoned, the unwanted. I see "food" and know that even in my own town there are children who do not get enough calories or nutrients for their brains to function as they should. I am not talking to people in need; I'm talking to those of us who function primarily in what the world considers to be luxury. Unpause.]

 As a mom, I'm used to hearing my kids say, "I need you to cut this out for me...I need you circle which math problems to do...I need you to help me cut this apple." And like a good mom, I always say, "NEED? Really? Hahahaha." (They don't laugh like I do; they look exasperated and go ask my husband.)

 Seriously, though, most mature people have a grasp of needs and wants; no need for a list or a worksheet. But our attitudes towards needs and wants could not be more stark.

 I mean, what kind of attitude do you have when you say, "I need to do those dishes." "I need to go study." "I need to call my accountant." We don't love our needs. We accept our needs; we do our needs; we're faithful to our needs. But we don't wake up in the morning thinking, "I can't wait to get to work on that need list!" It doesn't happen.

 But our WANT list...now that's something altogether different.

 I want to read several chapters in a Max Lucado book. I want to minimize an area in my house. I want to drink a slow cup of coffee, alone or with a friend. I want to hug my kids as much as they can stand it. I want to get all these blog posts in my head onto the computer.

 Time for wants is precious because the needs are so demanding. My need list is seemingly never-ending: get breakfast for family, clean up from breakfast, do laundry, do dishes, homeschool kids, help husband with his list, fix and clean up from lunch, think ahead to supper, start thawing meat and considering what I have to go with it, fix supper, clean up from that meal, more dishes, pick up the house (well, to be honest, whatever is bothering me), respond to emails, work on business transactions (I have at least four different "jobs"), and more. And those are just the everyday things. Your list looks different, but it's just as full. 

 Don't get me wrong: I do my needs. Regardless of my sleep level or craziness or what I have going on, the dishes and the school and the helping and the laundry get done. Needs are needs for a reason; they need to happen. 

 But rarely are they something that keeps us up at night in excitement. That's reserved for wants. 

 Beth Moore says it like this: "We don't always do what we need to do. And here is the primary reason: because we don't want to...[But] in the ring between competitors for the heavyweight human motivator, want beats need to a bloody pulp," (Audacious, pages 90-92).

 I recently got to spend one evening and a morning with one of my favorite people in the whole world: my college roommate, Angela. The night before I was going to drive to her house, I could not sleep. I watched the clock until 3am, thinking, "I cannot wait to see her!" Visiting Angela was a sleep-stealing want.

 The same thing happens when I get to start a new writing project, speak at a conference, or plan a surprise party: I'm overcome with excitement and energy and flat-out WANT. 

 And though I'm a responsible adult and do not neglect my needs, I feel that we make a mistake when we push aside the wants because, after all, God put them there. God caused you to WANT to help that little girl in the after-school program struggling to read. He gave you the WANT to organize your room, your mom's kitchen, or your boss's finances. He caused you to WANT to make something beautiful out of the ugly.

 Your wants are your passions. Your wants make you unique and special and useful and ideal. Your wants reveal the person God made you to be, the one that says, "I WAS MADE FOR THIS." Or another way to identify the wants: if you had a day with NO NEEDS to be met--for yourself or anyone else--what would you do?

 You've just found your sweet spot. Your wants point directly to a magic spot inside you.

 So can we give a little shout-out to the wants? Our wants give us direction and love and compassion. Our wants make us bold and creative and beautiful. Our wants give us the energy to do what others find most God-glorifying.

 But beware--our wants have enemies:

  • perfection (whispers, "You're not even going to DO anything with it!")
  • legalism (says, "Shouldn't you be doing something more productive?")
  • laziness (says, "But you've got time to work on that...later.")
  • selfishness (says, "Don't waste your free time helping her!")

Never fear, though! You have something more powerful on the side of your wants: God Himself. 

 Consider the following verse you know and love already: "Delight yourself in the Lord, and He shall give you the desires of your heart," (Psalm 37:4). (You can find all the translations here.)

 The word for heart in that verse can be translated, "inner man, mind, will, heart, understanding, soul, knowledge, thinking, reflection, memory, inclination, resolution, determination of will, conscience, seat of appetites, emotions, passions, and courage." (Source: Blue Letter Bible) That word sounds like my working definition WANTS, right? It's the convergence of your mind and heart, your knowledge and emotions, your memory and your inclination.

 So put that definition back in: "Delight yourself in the Lord, and He shall give you your wants," (Hudson Translation 😁). When we find delight in God Almighty, when He is our highest and best aspiration, He helps us find that thing that makes us tick; our best wants.

 Notice, though, our responsibility in this whole thing: delighting in God. WANTING to know and fear and worship and praise and deeply love and thank God. Seeking Him in His Word, believing He is exactly who He portrays Himself to be in the Bible. When we do those things first, He gives us our wants.

"But Leslie," you might say, "I don't have that delight." 

 WANT IT. Ask Jesus, "Lord, help me to delight in you!" Choose to believe what He says about finding rest (Matthew 11:28-30) and abiding (John 15). The more deeply you cherish Him, the more you will find your ultimate joy in Him, period. Can't find your wants? Seek Him more wholeheartedly.

 Be faithful to accomplish those needs. But do them efficiently and well so that you create time and mental preparation for your wants. 

 Cheering you on in your wants,
Leslie

 I added to this blog a few days later. Click here to read the second part!

 @leslienotebook
myleslienotebook@gmail.com



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