Wrong Question
We just began a new school year, and I've been getting a lot of "why" questions from my kids. "Why do I need to know how to factor?" "Why do I have to do spelling today?" "Why do I have to write that in cursive?"
I understand their whys: We had a nice, long, school-free summer with no formal math or spelling or writing. [It was so school-free that both of my kids were writing letters backwards...in their own name.] So getting back into the routine of learning brings out the why in them.
It does the same thing in me.
This fact hit me just yesterday, when I gave my daughter a math assignment and she said, "Why do I have to learn this?" I confidently knew the answer: it was a building block for a future lesson, she would use it as a learning foundation, and her brain needed to learn this simple concept so we could apply it to other things.
But she would not understand the answer to her why; I knew that if I explained it to her, she'd just ask "Why?" again or get more confused. So, instead, I said what a good mom says: "Because I said so."
(Those four words are MOMMY GOLD. Don't believe me? Call me when you have a two-year-old.)
Anyway, I did add this: "You don't understand the why even if I told you. You just need to trust me."
And just like that, the Holy Spirit hit me like a ton of bricks: "This is what I've been saying to you, too, child." And I hit my knees.
You see, I know that it's in the hard times that I learn and grow and mature. I can't think of one person in whose testimony I heard these words: "The Lord really used that season of my life where everything was good to help me grow in my faith." Nope; it's in the struggling, the waiting, the longing, and the crying out that we finally turn to the only One who created us and knows our purpose and can carry us through the fire.
I know that the most character-building experiences are those that shape not only my heart but my mind. And that does not come in the easy weeks, the calm days, or the clear-cut decisions.
But that doesn't mean I want to go through tough stuff. Nope; I'm just like my kids: after a season of easy, when something hard comes my way I immediately ask, "Why?"
Why is the car having all these problems?
Why am I struggling in this relationship?
Why can't I figure this out?
Why isn't there enough money to meet our needs?
You've done it too. And even though you might not ask those questions directly to God, any why is ultimately a question for Him. He alone knows the why.
However, He doesn't always answer our whys. And this is where we struggle.
Now, I did a search of people asking God "Why?" in the Bible and found that He really did answer sometimes. When Isaac's wife Rebekah asked why the babies in her womb were jostling, God told her (Genesis 25:21-23).
When Moses asked God why He had sent him to Egypt, only for his people to be punished, God answered him plainly (Exodus 5:22-6:1).
He answered the whys of Joshua and Gideon and even King Saul. [Here's where I started my study; I would love for you to dig into this with me!] After looking at all the whys and God's response, here's what I discovered:
God isn't scared of our whys; but, like my daughter, sometimes we can't grasp the answer He would tell us. So He just says, "Because I said so." Maybe not in so many words; however, I observed that in almost every situation when someone asked God why, if they couldn't handle the answer, He answered by telling them who He was.
When Job said, "Why am I going through this horrible time?" God responded with a statement of His power and knowledge (Job 38-41). You really should read these chapters right now if you haven't in a while. When you do, you'll see that God does NOT answer Job's why. But here's what God DOES say:
I am mighty.
I am all-knowing.
I have it all under control; MY control.
Maybe that's not what you want to hear; maybe you really feel justified, like Job, in your why. Maybe the answer to your why is your own sin and you don't want to own up to it. Maybe the answer to your why is the sin of someone else or just the effects of this sin-stained world, and we really don't know how to handle that.
But maybe, like my daughter, you were simply asking the wrong question. Not because God can't handle the answer, but because you can't.
Why? Because He said so. Because He knows best. Because He loves you. Because this will make you holy. Because maybe, like Job, you'll get to the other side and have more grace.
Go ahead: ask your why. But don't be surprised if His answer is, "Because I said so." You can trust Him in that.
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