You Didn't Ask, Part 3

I couldn't find any cute artwork about this topic.

[Pause. Here I am, writing the third in a series of my answers to questions that none of you ever asked me, and I feel I need to explain something quickly. I do not know everything. I don't even know remotely close to anything. The few areas in which I feel authorized to tell you what to do are based on my life combined with God's Word. So though I am naturally bossy, please know I've been fighting that tendency with all that is in me and asking God to let His Words come through me. As Beth Moore says, what I'm writing is just the result of a holy beating that God brought me through. Amen, Beth. So don't think I've always had all this together, or that I did it all right when I was your age, or even that I do this all right now. Much of what I am writing today are things I still struggle to believe and do. But I KNOW THEY ARE TRUTH, and I pray you'll take the first step of knowing and believing them, too.]

Back to the topic: they don't make memes about this subject. Either it's too real or it's something nobody else really wants to know. It seems old-fashioned and un-feminist and weak.

But it is God's Word. Scripture doesn't bow down to current ideas or change for the times. 

So here's today's question nobody asked me: Leslie, what can I do to prepare myself to be a godly wife?

You see, my first two posts on this topic (here and here) were about who should and shouldn't be considered potential husband material. And most of the guys you know are not at this point ready to be a godly husband and father. I'm not saying he will never be; I'm saying you need to let God help him grow up before your life joins with his.

So, in the meantime, as you are either waiting for Mr. Right or you're praying for Mr. Hopefully Someday, are you getting ready to be Mrs. Right?

[Full disclosure: I never, ever thought about doing this when I was in high school or college. I thought I was pretty much ready. Ridiculous.]

I hear some of you saying, "Leslie, I'm nowhere close to getting married. I don't need this." BUT YOU DON'T KNOW THAT. There have been more than just a few girls I know who were blissfully single, met the guy, and found themselves married in a handful of months. 

And a handful of months is not enough time to learn all this stuff. 

Now, let me also say this: You are never going to be perfectly ready to be a wife. That would require perfection, which is just crazy talk. But you have the opportunity to be much closer than you are now. Think of this as getting ready for the SAT or something along those lines; you'll never get a perfect score, but you can do much better if you study.

So start this stuff before you get engaged. Before you find the guy. Before you even start dating, maybe. Because it will get your heart and your brain ready for what is very likely to come:

• Learn all you can about God and Jesus and the Spirit. That is a broad idea, but it requires spending time DIGGING into the Bible, just you and the Lord, daily. (I have mental plans for a post detailing just how to do that. Stay tuned!) It involves not just Bible Study but also reading Christian books and memorizing scripture.
• Get a mentor. She [yes, it MUST be a she] should be older than you and completely in love with Jesus. She does not need to be married; she just needs to be someone you want to be, spiritually. Get together with her, listen to her, talk to her, and get comfortable with the idea of someone getting up in your business and lovingly giving you advice.
• Make a list of the things you want to do or be when you're a wife. Seriously. Sit down and do it. Now, what on that list can you start working on today?
• Start cleaning out the junk in your life. Learn how to say "no" to temptation of every kind. Stop lying. Don't spend money out of control. Honor your mother and your father. Be kind. Learn to edify or build up others. Stop gossiping. And if you're really daring, ask your mentor some areas you need to work on.
• Develop your discipleship. Jesus did many things not because He had to but because He wanted to: prayer, studying the Scriptures, fasting, time alone, worship, and more. Get a book on discipleship, read it, and start doing the stuff in it.
• Be okay with yourself. Not the "yourself" that you are apart from God; I mean you need to know who God called you to be and live that life. Accept His call, His love, and His promises for you. If you are confident in that, you'll be a much more confident wife. (If you need more insight in this area, check out this post from a while ago.)
• Learn to be alone. There will be times when your husband is not there physically. There will be other times when he won't be the person you want him to be. He can't be all you want. Be ready for that. But Jesus is everything you want or need. He can handle whatever it is you are going through. Start practicing the discipleship of depending on Him in your stress, your anger, your confusion, and your hormones. Because He will still be the solution to those things even when you are married.

Oh, you have no idea how hard I'm praying for you. I know this is not falling on deaf ears. Some of you need this information today. Some of you wish you had it yesterday. And some of you will be better wives and Christ-followers tomorrow because you did it. 

But ANY WOMAN can start this stuff. It's never too late.

You are so awesome. 

@leslienotebook

myleslienotebook@gmail.com