Letter to Younger Me
Dear 19-year old Me,
You're halfway through your second semester of college. You've found the guy. You've got the plan. You've figured it all out.
Very cute.
I'm sorry to break it to you, love, but your life is not as clear-cut as you might think. And you need to hear this from an older, wiser, different person than you are right now. You need to hear the truth from your 37-year-old self.
That guy is good. Don't get me wrong. He loves you and he loves God. He's going to be a great husband and a great father. But marriage is not what you think it's going to be. And neither is buying a house, being a parent, or any of the other things that make you a truly independent adult. It's going to take a lot of hard work. A lot of sacrifice. A lot of submitting. A lot of learning and thinking and praying and loving unselfishly. Because he's not perfect yet. You're not either. You both have some stuff to work on in your own mind and heart and soul. God will help you. But you've got to let Him work, not only in His life but in yours.
That plan is good. But it won't happen. You think with your major and your degree and your ideas you know exactly what is coming and how you'll roll with those punches. Wrong. That plan will change ten times before you even graduate. And there are things coming from out of nowhere that will change everything. It's okay to make that plan, but don't get too set on it. You can ask anyone over the age of thirty if their plan at 19 worked out perfectly. I guarantee you won't find one who didn't have some detours, right angles, roundabouts, or dead ends.
You've identified yourself. You've got some absolutes, some statements about "I'll never..." and "I'll always..." and "I'm just..." but you will change. And it will be for your good. Don't be satisfied with the 19-year-old you. I mean, don't get me wrong; she's great. But the 37-year-old you is so much cooler. Seriously. It doesn't seem like it could be true, but 37-year-old you is awesome. She's much more confident and loving and patient than you could ever be.
But it takes the next 18 years to get to that spot.
So, what should you do in the meantime?
Make Jesus your best friend. You've got friends and family and the guy, but nobody can be your Savior, your Lord, and your source of love and peace and joy and self-control like Jesus can. So get past your 5-minute devo and really learn who He is through Scripture. Invest in a good Study Bible, ask questions, and dig deeply into His Word. Then live it. For real.
Let Jesus lead you; not just long-term, but daily. Get in the habit of listening to what His voice sounds like by asking Him to show you someone who needs a friend, someone you need to forgive, or someone you can turn to when you need good advice. Start small. Learn what He sounds like. That way you'll be ready to hear Him clearly in the big stuff.
Accept change. In your plans. In your identity. In your relationships. The next ten years are going to be a whirlwind. And that's okay. Roll with it. Look forward to it. Trust me. You don't really want to stay where you are :)
Believe you'll make it. You have no idea how hard some things are going to be. And if I told you right now about all the difficulties and sleepless nights and tears and heartache, you just might freeze and refuse to walk the path in front of you. But I'm here on the other side to tell you that you will make it. You are tougher and smarter than you think; not really, but Christ makes you tougher and smarter than you are.
You're going to love who you'll be at 37. And I just got a letter from 50-year-old me that lets me know it only gets better!
Love,
Older Me
You're halfway through your second semester of college. You've found the guy. You've got the plan. You've figured it all out.
Very cute.
I'm sorry to break it to you, love, but your life is not as clear-cut as you might think. And you need to hear this from an older, wiser, different person than you are right now. You need to hear the truth from your 37-year-old self.
That guy is good. Don't get me wrong. He loves you and he loves God. He's going to be a great husband and a great father. But marriage is not what you think it's going to be. And neither is buying a house, being a parent, or any of the other things that make you a truly independent adult. It's going to take a lot of hard work. A lot of sacrifice. A lot of submitting. A lot of learning and thinking and praying and loving unselfishly. Because he's not perfect yet. You're not either. You both have some stuff to work on in your own mind and heart and soul. God will help you. But you've got to let Him work, not only in His life but in yours.
That plan is good. But it won't happen. You think with your major and your degree and your ideas you know exactly what is coming and how you'll roll with those punches. Wrong. That plan will change ten times before you even graduate. And there are things coming from out of nowhere that will change everything. It's okay to make that plan, but don't get too set on it. You can ask anyone over the age of thirty if their plan at 19 worked out perfectly. I guarantee you won't find one who didn't have some detours, right angles, roundabouts, or dead ends.
You've identified yourself. You've got some absolutes, some statements about "I'll never..." and "I'll always..." and "I'm just..." but you will change. And it will be for your good. Don't be satisfied with the 19-year-old you. I mean, don't get me wrong; she's great. But the 37-year-old you is so much cooler. Seriously. It doesn't seem like it could be true, but 37-year-old you is awesome. She's much more confident and loving and patient than you could ever be.
But it takes the next 18 years to get to that spot.
So, what should you do in the meantime?
Make Jesus your best friend. You've got friends and family and the guy, but nobody can be your Savior, your Lord, and your source of love and peace and joy and self-control like Jesus can. So get past your 5-minute devo and really learn who He is through Scripture. Invest in a good Study Bible, ask questions, and dig deeply into His Word. Then live it. For real.
Let Jesus lead you; not just long-term, but daily. Get in the habit of listening to what His voice sounds like by asking Him to show you someone who needs a friend, someone you need to forgive, or someone you can turn to when you need good advice. Start small. Learn what He sounds like. That way you'll be ready to hear Him clearly in the big stuff.
Accept change. In your plans. In your identity. In your relationships. The next ten years are going to be a whirlwind. And that's okay. Roll with it. Look forward to it. Trust me. You don't really want to stay where you are :)
Believe you'll make it. You have no idea how hard some things are going to be. And if I told you right now about all the difficulties and sleepless nights and tears and heartache, you just might freeze and refuse to walk the path in front of you. But I'm here on the other side to tell you that you will make it. You are tougher and smarter than you think; not really, but Christ makes you tougher and smarter than you are.
You're going to love who you'll be at 37. And I just got a letter from 50-year-old me that lets me know it only gets better!
Love,
Older Me
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