Meditating on Proverbs 31:30

"Charm is deceptive."

I've had this phrase in my mouth, heart, and mind for a month now. The girls in my church have spent the entire summer studying Proverbs 31, and since I had a few weeks between teaching lessons so I really wanted to dig deeply into what the verses meant. 

One of the verses I knew I'd teach was verse 30, which begins with the phrase, "Charm is deceptive." At first I simply glossed over it; I knew what it meant: It meant we could fool people with our charm. It meant the Proverbs 31 woman doesn't use her charm to deceive others. 

Right?

Well, kinda. Not really.

The meaning of this phrase changes when you look up the word "charm" in an online concordance. That's when you realize that, in its dozens of appearances in the Old Testament, it's rarely translated "charm" but more likely "grace" or "favor." As in, "Noah found favor in the eyes of the Lord" (Gen. 6:8) or "the Lord was with Joseph and extended kindness to him and gave him favor in the sight of the chief jailer," (Gen. 39:21). 

After reading every verse containing this ancient word, here's my lowly definition: "charm" is the good stuff in us that makes others like us.

It's not the false, evil, she-devil kind of characteristic I had always pictured. Ruth had it. Esther had it. Noah and Joseph and David had it. It was something people who spoke the truth used (Proverbs 28:23) and was a valuable asset to a good name (Proverbs 22:1). 

So why did Proverbs 31:30 call it "deceptive?" 

This is the question I've pondered for the past month. And even as I sit here, knowing I will be teaching a lesson on this verse in approximately 90 minutes, I'm still working on it. 

This is the power of meditation. Years ago, I wrote a post years ago about meditating and memorizing, and I make it a regular part of my spiritual growth. Yet still I'm blown away with how God works in me when I faithfully memorize and meditate on His word. 

I've pondered more on "Charm is deceptive" than I ever thought possible, and at this point I realize I have barely begun to scratch the surface. And if the truth of God's word is this deep and multi-layered in a three-word statement about us, imagine the complexities about statements such as "God is love," and "Jesus is Lord." 

I echo Paul here, "Oh, the depth of the riches of the wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable his judgments, and his paths beyond tracing out!" (Romans 11:33).

So I offer to you today a few of the thoughts I've had on the very simple concept that charm is deceptive: 

Charm doesn't deceive God. He is not fooled by the things we do to win favor with others. He doesn't look at what people look at but He sees the heart of every man (1 Sam. 16:7).
Charm isn't all bad. When we choose to be kind, speak the truth, smile, have a great attitude, and serve others, we find favor in the eyes of people around us. Is that a bad thing? Nope. However....
Charm deceives the charmer. The danger of being a favored person is not the issues it poses to my relationships but what it does to ME. You see, from Eve down to me, we've been a self-seeking, self-focused, self-loving type of sinful. And the more I find myself awesome, the easier it is to believe it. The more people think I'm nice and kind and helpful, the more I seek that attention and praise. 

And that's the problem, right there. My charm, even all the good stuff off it, takes my eyes off God, even though He is the One who made me and made the universe and masterfully keeps it all spinning and living and moving as it should. 

My charm is nowhere close to the holiness of God.

And THAT is what really deserves my attention. Psalm 29:2 says, "Ascribe to the LORD the glory due His name; worship the LORD in the splendor or holiness." God's given us so much of Himself to look at and marvel over: His Word, His creation, His Son, His Spirit, Himself. And though mankind is given the title of the pinnacle of His creation, WE ARE NOT THE CENTER; He is.

So though charm/favor is something to seek as silver or gold, it's nowhere in the league of seeking God's face (Psalm 27:8). In fact, here's my summary statement of the word: Charm is a byproduct of seeking God first. When I seek God, I find Him, I know Him, and I can walk in obedience. That lets me love Him and love others fully.

But when I try to skip seeking God's face FIRST, it's deceptive charm. I have deceived myself into thinking I'm following God and loving others, when in fact I've skipped those genuine things and am just acting like it.

So the Proverbs 31 woman doesn't set out to find favor with others, but she does because God is her focus. 

A few translations add the word "can" to Proverbs 31:30, as in, "Charm can lie," (CJB) and "Charm can be deceiving" (CEV). The NCV even goes so far as to say, "Charm can fool you." 

Not me, though. I'm seeking God.


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