Who I Want to Be

I was a six-year-old girl when the 1984 Olympics were on television. [Insert: these were the stone ages of TV. You watched ABC, CBS, NBC, or PBS because that's all that we had.] So when the Olympics were on, we watched that only, every night, for two weeks.

 And I could show you exactly where I was in the floor of my parents' den, on the brown carpet, glued to the screen watching Mary Lou Retton compete. She was larger than life, even on my parents' 36-inch screen. I had been taking gymnastics for about a year, and to me she was IT. Always smiling, tons of energy, and seemed never to mis-step. I remember asking myself, "How does she do all that stuff? How does she handle it with all those people watching?" And when she won the gold medal, I distinctly remember thinking, "Yep. That's who I want to be." I poured myself into gymnastics, got the leotard (like every other self-respecting gymnast of the 1980s) and dreamed of standing, back arched and arms flung back, after my perfect-ten vault.

 [You can watch the video here. Try not to cry; I did.]

 She was my only childhood hero. I have honestly racked my brain and there is no one else I looked to like I did Mary Lou Retton. I wanted to have skills like others (sing like Mariah Carey, play piano like my teacher Claire, have hair like Kelli Kapowski...you know...the usual) but there was nobody else I wanted to BE.

 Until I was 22. Newly married and living in a new town, I signed up for a Bible Study at some woman's house at my church just to get to know other women and start a group of friends. I drove WAAAYYY out to the middle of nowhere to White Bluff, Tennessee. It took so long to get out there I swore that I wouldn't come back after the first week. [For those of you who don't know me, I now live in that little town of White Bluff. God surely has a great sense of humor.]

 We started the study, everyone introducing themselves, and discussed the required homework that would be expected five days a week. [What?!?!?!? Homework? I would definitely not be back.] But I smiled politely and drank my coffee as this red-headed woman turned on the DVD. (That red-headed woman is now one of my very best friends and has been a mentor for years.)

 And there, larger than life on a 42-inch-screen, was Beth Moore. I had never done any Bible Study, but for my whole entire life I had wanted to know what God said; I just didn't know how. And to me, Beth Moore was IT. I sat glued to that screen, asking myself, "How does she know all that stuff? How does she understand it? HOW CAN I KNOW IT?!?!?!" And as I walked out of the house, I distinctly remember thinking, "Yep, that's who I want to be."

 And my grown-up hero is so much more important to me than my childhood hero. You see, I would never be an Olympic gymnast no matter how hard I practiced or tried or worked. I just didn't have the talent or the genes. 

 BUT I know now that I can know and understand the Bible like Beth. No special genes or talents needed. Just a heart to dig deeply and cling to that Book for guidance, hope, understanding, and identity. [You can find my blogs on how to meditate and memorize here and how to study scripture here.]

 And though the closest I ever came to Mary Lou Retton was almost getting my roundoff-backhandspring-tuck, [emphasis on the almost], I am getting closer to Beth every day. I have memorized more scripture than I ever thought possible. I have studied, in depth, almost every book of the Bible. I have taught God's Word for thirteen years in a variety of contexts. And though I'll never stand in front of thousands of women like Beth Moore, I can stand in front of a group of girls and women, at any point, and teach them God's Word. It's what God ordained for me to do as my highest calling. 

 Last night, my kids and I gathered around the screen, pumped and anxious for the first night of women's gymnastics at the 2016 Olympics. And as the screen gave a little three-minute montage of this year's team, my five-year-old Shelby whispered to me, (eyes still on the screen), "I want to be a gymnastics girl when I grow up." And after we sat transfixed as we watched Simone Biles's amazing floor routine, she looked at me and declared, "I need one of those leotards!!!" 

 I smiled at her, knowing good and well I was looking back in time 30-plus years. And as images of Mary Lou and my gym and my leotards flashed through my mind, God brought Beth to it. And I prayed for Shelby that so much more than a childhood hero, I wanted her to have a grown-up hero. A woman who loves the Lord, clings to His Word, and pursues Him with such a passion that others watch her and say, "I want to be her when I grow up." 

 I won't be that hero to her; come on, I'm her mom. 

 But you might be. Many of you know Shelby and I ask you this today: Are you Shelby's Beth Moore? Because you just might be. Will you show her how much you love Jesus? Will you pour Scripture over her life like a warm balm? Will you be the kind of woman that is not just her hero but her mentor and spiritual Mother?

 And for those of you who don't know Shelby, I dare you to take the same challenge: be the kind of woman that others want to be. Devote the first hour of your day to prayer and Scripture. Live your faith. Love the Lord with all your heart and soul and mind and strength. 

 No genes or talent needed. Just a heart that searches for Him, believing that you will find Him because you're seeking Him with all your heart (Deuteronomy 4:29).



@leslienotebook
myleslienotebook@gmail.com



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